I've just finished reading Because of Low by Abbi Glines! The second book in the Sea Breeze Series. Honestly, I would've preferred it to focus on Sadie White and Jax Stone. Breathe focuses on them, while Because of Low focuses on Marcus Hardy and Willow Foster. There wasn't much on Sadie and Jax :( Jax didn't even make an appearance LOL there were tons of heartbreaks, I swear I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Much much love for the book tho!

Finally I've found Forever Too Far, the third book in the Too Far Series. This is by far my favorite series! Rush Finlay is one sexyyyyy boy. Been having a major Rush Crush for waaayyy too long ahahaha! Personally I really love Blair Wynn and Rush Finlay together. They're perfect for one another! Fallen Too Far and Never Too Far have amazing plots. Nan, Rush's sister, is one huge bitch, always trying to pick on Blair and making her life miserable which mades me feel so so upset. Nan wants Rush all to herself, which is sooo selfish, and causes all sorts of trouble but Rush and Blair still managed to make it work. Gods, Blair's pregnant with Rush's son! If they don't end up together, I might just... I don't know what I'll do.

"They always said that love was enough. It wasn't. Not when your soul was shattered."

I expected much for Forever Too Far but after reading the reviews... I'm certain my heart will be shattered. Nan will still be a bitch to Blair. Why can't she just get the hell out of Blair's life? Sure, she is Rush's sister but hey, your brother needs his own love life! From the reviews I've read... I have a hunch that the ending's gonna suck big time. I'm guessing that Blair won't end up with Rush, and she'll leave packing with their son. I really want them to be together! :( I really hope my hunches aren't right because I want them to have their Happily Ever After!

"How far is too far?", I asked.

"It's all too far. I want you right here beside me... forever."

Now... I really want to read Rush Too Far but I just can't find the book, or the ebook. How disappointing! :(

Oh and I just remembered... Rush has a tongue piercing!!!!! /squeals like a crazed fangirl/ I think it was due to the Too Far Series that I started liking tongue piercings. Oh gosh.

Alright I shall get started on the book! Time to brace myself, specifically my heart, for it. Oh oh I'm so excited and nervous!

I like things as it is, as how I'm used to. I don't like it when things are perfectly fine and then all of a sudden, I have to get used to something new. No. I hate it. Although it may become boring after a long while if everything remains as status quo but it has a sense of familiarity. 

If you put me in a venue where I know nobody at all, I'll feel odd. I won't even feel nervous, I'll be like, "goddammit, now I'll have to make new friends and I don't even know if they'll be nice. What if they're totally different from my current friends? What if they're hateful? Oh god, why?"

If somebody walks out of my life, and that somebody is really close to me, someone important... I'll prolly be begging him/her to stay. Sure... there's this thing standing between me and that friend, this stupid thing called pride — most of the times, I'll be too prideful to wanna make up to that friend. At first, I'll prolly just be moody and I'll show an attitude to everybody, maybe cry a little but I won't tell that friend anything. I'll be sad all alone, thinking why must this happen. After a period of time tho, I'll write out this shit long paragraph full of my feelings and I'll send it to him/her, apologizing for being an ass and all. If it constantly happens... then I might just walk away. I won't like it but why should I remain unhappy for a longer period of time just to try to keep you around when I can just leave and start smiling brightly again? Nobody wants to be sad forever right?

I feel that change is shitty. Imagine this: what if it's your loved ones, drifting away from you? Like they don't talk to you as much and when they do, they sound like they would rather be doing something else. You'll feel awfully neglected and no matter how hard you try, you just can't get the old them back. Gosh, that would hurt so so bad.

Yeah sure, there are some instances of change being good but I think that the bad outweighs the good. They always say that it's easier to sway to the bad than the good. I guess it applies to change as well. 

Change is always occurring tho, much to my dislike. Yes, tiny changes could spice things up a bit but... drastic changes are just.... sigh. It's such a turn off for me. Like I said, I like things the way I'm used to.

Maybe... one of the reasons why I don't like change so much is because I'm too lazy to adapt to something new. It takes a lot of time, and most of the time, it would bring much pain and sadness.

Wow. So... it's the 18th of April already. School officially starts on the 21st. I can't believe 5 months just flew past like that. Thinking back, I really wasted a lot of time, oh my.

This week, everybody's been talking about either how boring or fun their orientations are. I'm kinda envious. I'm having mixed feelings about orientation. I'm pretty excited for it as I can meet more friends and my seniors, but I'm so nervous and I keep getting this I don't wanna go for orientation feeling LOL

I guess the socially awkward penguin just ain't looking forward to it!

I've been wondering about this for an awfully long time - why does my orientation last for 5 days? Sure... there might be a lot of people but 5 days? Woah. Don't tell me there'll be plenty of games, especially ice-breaker games oh gosh. I have never ever, in my whole life, liked anything that has to do with introductions.

Why I am so shy?

Gosh I hope I'll actually have the balls to walk up to somebody and say, "Hi! I'm Nikki, what's your name?" I can imagine me just standing at the side, being all quiet and shit. Hehehe... this is so bad.

Oh well! I'll just take one small step at a time. Prolly babysteps. LOLOL

Sometimes on the street, you see couples everywhere, and you observe how the girlfriends treat their boyfriends. Some are just so sweet, while others just treat their boyfriends like maids. The former ones, those are the ones that make you think, "what if my boyfriend finds someone else that treats him way better than I do too? What if... he finds someone better? Someone more intelligent, prettier, cuter, someone who shares the same interests as him."

Aren't you afraid that someday, he'll suddenly just pick up his bags and leave because he's fallen for somebody else? I don't know about you but that's what worries me all the time.

I feel insecure about myself, my position in his heart because I know the true me. I know what are my flaws, and just how bad they are. Honestly, I don't even see a positive side of me. I find myself constantly thinking that what if one day, he just suddenly picks up his bags and leave because he's found someone who suits him better ahahaha gosh.

I overthink every second of everyday, and I'm pretty overly attached. I'm certain I'm an overly attached girlfriend LOL and I'm worried that he'll find me annoying someday and gets irritated with me. Y'know... ahahaha.

Honestly speaking, I don't know what irks him, what he doesn't like. I'm just doing what I feel like doing and if he's upset by it, I'll try to stop doing it. Right now, I think I've only found out one or two things that he doesn't like. 

Well... I guess there's nothing I can do anyway. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, right? Ahahahaha!