I realized just how depressing my blog has become so I'm posting about something that made me happy today.

1. Eng Mech class is cancelled so I get to come home earlier yay! (Which is like by 2 hours, which is a whole damn lot LOLOL)

2. After EG1 class, CT & Isaac were going through shittyaskscience on reddit and it's bloody funny gosh HAHAHA

"If I look at a meteor shower, does it feel violated?"

"Is first degree murder in Celsius or Fahrenheit?"

"Why is gravity so strong when it doesn't even lift?"

Oh god I can't even HAHAHAHA

3. We managed to get a table at the Poolside canteen during lunch hours woohoo!

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I just realized how relatable Mayday Parade songs are! No Heroes Allowed / If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet? / Without the Bitter, the Sweet Isn't as Sweet / Save Your Heart / Jersey / Just Say You're Not Into It.

Definitely my favorite band., they are EXTREMELY amazing.

Actually I can't choose LOL because I love Sleeping with Sirens & Pierce the Veil just as much.

Ah dayum.

And I found this superb lyric video of Mayday Parade's If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?. Oh my gosh, and it's made using Adobe After Effects, which sorta made me even more interested in Mini Seminar because that's what we're learning right now HAHAHA

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I'm gonna look you in the eye, and tell the world's biggest lie. What choice do I have, when you hurt me so bad? Wrecked everything we had.

Honestly I don't even know what to blog about these few days. I don't know what's "bloggable" content and what's not. 

Most of the time, I only feel like blogging when I'm upset and I need a place to express and/or vent my feelings to then I realize that wasn't that what I told myself I cannot do at the start of the year?

When I created this new blog, I thought, "it's a new blog, it's time to start anew. No upsetting shit, no fuckery. Let's leave that all in the old blog."

I guess I can't. I can't help it. I find that I'm upset almost everyday recently, I can't even go to school without feeling the need to cry again. 

I feel so weak, like a fucking crybaby.

I also found out that I don't have anybody to talk to. Talk to as in through whatsapp. No kidding, nobody replies me. I feel so lonely in this big big world. I'm scared. I don't like this feeling :( I don't like being alone...

Somebody please save me.

I've been thinking lately

About you and me

And all the questions left unanswered

How it all could be

And I hope you know

You never left my head

And if I ever let you down

I'm sorry

No I can't let you go

And you know that you can

Take all of me

I swear I will be better than before

So sing it back

Woah oh oh oh

No I can't let you go

I love you

And just because we've broken up doesn't mean that I can just turn my back while you go around dating other girls

How is it that I can manage to keep my thoughts at bay during the day but everything comes crashing down late at night?

God, what is happening? I feel like I'm returning back to my secondary school days, when I live almost everyday in tears. I don't want this, not at all, but I can't help but let the tears flow while I lie in bed, in the cold darkness, thinking of... well... everything.

I wouldn't say school is well. Frankly speaking, it's like shit. I dread going to school every morning, and I can't wait to just dash home straight after school. Why is Ngee Ann so far from home? Why didn't I just choose TP?

And then there's you. I miss you, a whole damn lot. I don't know how I'm supposed to approach you. All I ever do is piss you off, but all I want to do it talk to you. I miss talking to you every second of everyday but I doubt you feel the same way. You feel like letting go, well... you aren't the only one. This hurts. It's so so painful.

You know what's the worst thing ever? When you only find comfort being in the dark.

I can't wait for time to pass, and yet all I want to do is to stop time, let everything stay. I don't want to grow older. I fear the thought of death. I fear the thought of losing you. I fear the thought of one day, I might just forget everything - you, my family, my friends. I don't want to let go of life, not anymore.

They say that everything is fated, that your destiny's already written out. It's scary, how your entire life's already planned out, and you're just the main character in your story, intertwined with others' stories.